To bhaiyon yeh baat hai Akbar ke zamane ki….

Usne 9 chutiye lundoore paal rakhe the..Popularly known as his navratans…!!!

Birbal aur Tansen me bada Kaampeeteesan raha karta
tha…bahut tu tu mein mein hote rahti unme.. tansen bada jalta tha birbal par. kehta tha, ” madarchod, kuch bhi bakwaas sunake badshah salamat ko chutiya banata hai.” to birbal kehta tha tansen ko, ” abey ja ja bhosdi ke, kuch bhi mooh se aand-saand phati hui aawaz nikalta hai aur jahanpanah ki gaand chaatata hai…lagta hai teri gaand mein dard hai isi liye aisi choot jaisi aawazey nilakte rahta hai…”!

EK din gusse me aake Tansen kehta hai ki ” Ab faisla
ho hi jaye ki kaun zyada bada madarchod hai???? tere se kya honewala hai? main shart marta hoon ki main Jodha bai ke mammey choos sakta hoon.”

Birbal ki has has ke gaand me dard ho gaya… Kehta hai ki “Agar toone aisa kar diya to agley din bhari sabha me mai nangaa aaunga”…

Bas fir hona kya tha lag gayi shart… Tansen ki gaand mein aag lag gayi..usne idea lagaya…

Tansen gaya bazaar, sapere ke paas. kehta hai ki “Bhai, mujhe ek aisa saanp chahiye, untrained aur bina zehar ke hona chahiye”. Saanp khareed ke Tansen usko ghar pe training dena shuru karta hai. ek aadmi ka putla banake saanp ko kehta hai ” BETA SAPPU uske tang pe kaat”. to sappu putle ke taang pe jake das leta hai…Tansen usko doodh pilata hai. Aise hi training karte karte sappu Tansen ka ishara dekh kar taang, haath, gala ityadi ko dasna seekh jaata hai.. doodh pee peekar mast tagda ho jaata hai….

Jahan bhi Tansen ishara karta, Sappu waha das leta…Training karke sappu ab taiyar ho gaya Big Day ke liye…

Ab baat aisi thi ki Akbar aur Jodha bai har subah apne bageeche me sair ke liye nikalte the, thandi hawa khaate the. agle din subah Tansen bhi apne sappu ke saath bageeche me ja pahuncha, aur jhaadiyon me chhip gaya…Jahaanpanah aur begum ko aata dekh Tansen ne sappu ko phat se nikalke, zameen pe chhod diya aur ishara Jodha bai ke mammon ki taraf karke bola..

“BETA SAPPU dikha apna kamaal, ja das le rani ke Mammoo ko.” Sappu phat se gaya, begum ke ghaghrey mein ghuskar, taang par chadh ke, mansal Jangho se gujarke, chut ko par kar ke, seedha ja pahunchta hai mammon ke beech, vahi khai me, vaha se plan ke mutabik, seedha left turn le ke chadh jata hai Top pe aur ek second mein saali ko dabakar das leta hai nipple pe…

Jodha chikhne lagee “Are Mere sartaj bachao, bachao …hai saap ne das liya, kuch karo na, jaldi se….”

Akbar to paagal ho gaya…”Arre bachao koi bachao meri begum ko saap ne das liya…. koi Bachaoooo”

Tabhi Tansen nikla jhadiyon se, bhaag ke gaya aur bola “Jahan panah ek Upay hai mere paas rani sahebaan ko bachaneka. Main agar zehar choos kar bahar nikal doon to aap gussa hokar meri gand to nahi katwa denge na?? Akbar bola, ” Arey, Madar chod jo bhi karna ho, jaldi kar, lekin meri begum ko bacha le..!!” phir kya tha Tansen ne phat se Jodha bai ko pakda, uske kapde Ranjit ki tarah fade aur mammey bahar nikal kar zor zorsey choosne laga…. poore ke poore choos dale…(Aur idher -udher haath bhi maar liye harami ne) aadhey ghantey tak masalkar choosa…!!

Birbal ne ye baat suni to uski gaand se maano Rocket guzar gaya…. man hi man sochne laga Bhenchod kal to lut gayee izzat, bhare darbaar me nang dhadang jana padega….gaand lag gayi… Usne khoob socha, baal khujlaye (upar ke bhi aur neeche ke bhi) lekin no idea… Gaand jab khujayee to idea Lund ki tarah uchhal kar bahar aaya…

Agle din darbaar laga, Akbar ne sabke samne Tansen ki tareef ki aur kaha agar tansen me zehar choosne ki shakti nahi hoti, to Jahanpanah aaj randwe hote….aur akele apne aap hilaa rahe hote….Tansen on other hand cud not wait for Birbal to make an appearance… khushi ke maare paagal ho raha tha ye soch kar ki jab Birbal bhare darbaar me nanga hokar aayega to Akbar ki gaand sharm se paani paani ho jayegi….YESSS….!

wo birbal ke gaand pe itne hunter maarenge ki Birbal ki 7 pushtey muh se hagegi…. tabhi darbaar me hulchul machi…peechey se bahut aawaz honey lagi….sabne kya dekha ki Birbal nanga hokar, apna lauda haath me pakde, daudta hua aa raha hai…

Bas phir hona kya tha, Akbar ki gaand gusse se LAAL ho gayi…bola, “Birbal ye kya gustakhi hai??? teri himmat kaise hui aise nange aane ki?? darbar ki beizzati karne ki…? mughal sultanat ka kuch khayal nahi…??”

Tabhi Birbal chillaya, “Haye… Jahan panah…bachao, mai mar gaya.. mujhe saap ne kaat liya …mere laude pe..”

Akbar turant bola “Tansen…jao, jaldi se chooso Birbal ka lund…!!!!”